To cry, or not to cry? That is the question.
Is Babywise the same as Parentwise?
For those interested, here's some websites that debate the issue.
A lady in our church told me, "If you hold him too much, he'll get over it. But if you don't hold him enough, he'll never get over it."
http://www.ezzotruth.com/ http://www.ezzo.info/index.htm http://www.growingkidsgodsway.net/Infant_Way.aspx
http://www.sleephomepages.org/books/babywise.html
http://www.keepkidshealthy.com/reviews/parenting_books/on_becoming_babywise.html
http://www.gfi.org/
http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/attachment_disorder.htm
14 comments:
Babywise covers the same principles as "Preparation for Parenting".
Generally a debate would provide two sides to an issue. In response to the sites you linked to, I would recommend the following sites to as a healthy balance of information regarding Babywise and Preparation for Parenting.
Ezzotruth.com
Preperation for Parenting
Growing Families International
Thanks for the input.
According to many baby experts, it is impossible to spoil your baby before 3 months (or 12 weeks) A baby that is "colicky" usually starts crying at two weeks - when babies become more alert - and peaks at 6-7 weeks. The reason for this is that they are more aware of their surroundings and will notice and become concerned when left alone...likewise they will be overwhelmed and stressed when there are too many new people around. At about twelve weeks, a baby finally adjusts to this big crazy world outside of the womb and the crying tapers off sharply.
I wouldn't worry about answering his every cry right now. He's just saying he needs to be loved and reassured. By week 12, he'll feel much better :) Of course, there's always "Arsenic hour", that time of evening when every baby seems to cry for absolutely no reason. (I have been known to let Caleb cry it out a time or two :) We all feel a little better after it's over!
Have you heard of "The Happiest Baby on the Block?" My sister loves it!
I recommend reading the "been there, done that" experiences of parents who have used Babywise, as you evaluate what is best for your little one.
Hence my blog title: "Graysonwise".
I'm of the opinion that any plan or method needs to be applied to each child with patience and wisdom. What works for one may not work for another. This is not a one-size-fits-for-all issue. It's more like learn-and-pray-as-you-go. Either way, you have to weather through every stage; no way around it.
Lately, we've been studying Ecclesiastes. I think Ecclesiastical wisdom would tell parents - "Don't hurry through it all, seek to enjoy it all; for it is all God's gift."
Heather thanks for the book recommendation. I look forward to seeing it.
I just finished reading that book "The Happiest Baby on the Block". It is really great!! He totally reassured me that it's ok to answer Caleb's every cry and not be worried about spoiling him :) He also offers tips on how to settle a colicky baby...all of which have been very effective (Caleb sleeps an average of 8 hours a night!) I can let you borrow the book if you have not already purchased it...let me know and I can mail it to you :)
Stephanie
Thank you Stephanie, I'm going to go ahead and purchase it.
My favorite tip in "The Happiest Baby on the Block" is the swaddling tip. It talks about the five "s's": shushing, swaying, swaddling, and something else, I'm not so sure. :-) Anyway, my sister's done this with both of her little ones and it's amazing to see them going from screaming "bloody murder" as my mom would say, to feeling safe and cozy wrapped tigher than you can imagine and looking like a darling little burrito! you just cannot imagine that they would love being wrapped so tightly! But they do, and the book assures you that you cannot wrap them too tightly. Certain blankets (the waffle weave, for example) work better for this) and it helps them sleep through the night sooner because they don't hit themselves in the face.
I also learned that "shushing" is supposed to imitate the sounds of the womb so it's not the "angry sounding" shushing you hear in a 7th grade classroom but more of a human-made "white noise." You're supposed to get right in your baby's ear and blow air through your teeth to make the sound as loud as possible.
It's amazing to see it work...and when you do all the things at once and the baby calms down immediately! It's so cool...especially when people look at me and say, "Gosh she's good with children! And she doesn't even have any of her own!" Who says they have to be your own? Just learn what works and do it!
Heather!!!!!!!
:-) Yes. When you are holding him, he will eventually sleep. When you are holding him, he will eat. When you are holding and shushing him, he will ball up and be as happy as "peas and carrots". And yes, there's the rub: you were holding him......now try putting him down.
Grayson loves to cry as if someone is putting needles in his eyes, then to rescue him from such distress, Katy or I will "hold him"... immediately he is silent. At which point, I respond saying, "I've been had!...time to put a Babywise situation into effect." Forty-five minutes later we joyfully go through it all again.
We keep telling him that if he wasn't so cute, it would be a lot harder for him. :-)
Hey!! When Audrey was first born and for awhile she was a holder baby but she grew out of it. So don't worry. I believe babies like to be wrapped liked a burrito like Heather said and to be held because it is what it is like when they were in the womb.
If you think you're holding Grayson too much and you think you cannot get anything accomplished, try a sling. You might have one or heard of it. It wraps over you and cradles the baby while you do things like dishes. There are different versions.
Anyway, how are is the cute family. Anymore pics of Grayson? We miss ya'll!!!
I was asking my sister about "Happiest baby" and she reminded me the philosophy behind it is treating the baby's first three months like a "fourth trimester." Instead of saying, "Welcome to the world! You're on your own!" you try to ease the baby into the harsh new world by simulating the womb experience.
She also reminded me that the book is definitely written from an evolutionary perspective, so even though the concepts are good and they do work, the philosophy behind it is wacko! When she read "Happiest Toddler on the Block" she said it was insanely crazy and she'd never recommend it to a soul!" Just FYI.
As of yet, I can't give my own parenting advice, so I just like to pass on that of my sister since she impresses me more than any mom I know. What can I say? I'm biased.
Though, Hez. . . we're all ears for when you DO announce the impending patter of little feet!
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